


Failure

by gtfomyufo



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, Shatterstar (2018)
Genre: Angst, Breakup, Canon Compliant, Depression, I haven't written them getting back together because I fully believe it will happen in coming issues, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-25 11:26:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16196597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gtfomyufo/pseuds/gtfomyufo
Summary: How I think the breakup scene went down in that One Page in Shatterstar #1





	1. Chapter 1

Shatterstar had just finished breaking up yet another fight between Goldon and Crimzor when he got back to the apartment he shared with Julio. He sat down on the couch, ready to watch television and wind down for the day, when he realised something was amiss. He had not seen Julio all day.

 

Normally, this might not bother him. Julio had his own life and responsibilities and could easily be out doing something without him. Something felt wrong about it, though. Julio had seemed distant lately. Now that he had finished working with the New Mutants, his life had lacked direction. Shatterstar knew it was important for Julio to feel as though he was useful, so he often invited Julio to assist him with his landlord responsibilities. Shatterstar had thought this was helping, but earlier that morning Julio had refused to join him. He did not consider this to be strange at the time, he thought perhaps Julio was tired from staying up late planning for the club he wanted to open. He had assumed Julio merely wanted to ‘sleep in’. Now, he wondered if it was more than that. It was unusual for Julio not to acknowledge him at the end of the day. He hoped Julio was out of the house, or simply had not heard him enter. It would be unusual if Julio had left without saying anything, but it would be better than if he had not left the apartment at all.

 

“Julio?” he called out. “I have returned. Would you like to join me in watching television?”

 

He waited, but there was no response. Shatterstar suspected he knew exactly where Julio Richter was hiding this evening. He hoped he was incorrect.

 

Shatterstar stood up and made his way over to the bedroom door. He knocked lightly. “Julio?” he asked softly.

 

“Go away,” he heard Julio mutter from within. He sighed. He hated to be proven correct.

 

Human interaction was difficult. What people say is not always what they mean, and Shatterstar had trouble determining the difference. He hovered at the door. Julio _said_ he wanted Shatterstar to go away, but Shatterstar did not want to leave Julio alone when he was upset. He was also not sure if Julio _really_ wanted him to leave.

 

He opened the door slowly, hoping Julio would not be too angry with him. Julio made an annoyed noise and pulled the blankets over his head. It was clear Julio had not moved since their brief conversation that morning. He desperately wanted to help Julio, but he did not understand how.

 

He made his way over to the bed, and lied down next to the lump of blankets that somewhere within contained his boyfriend. He gently tried to pull back the covers. Julio tightened a fist around them, making the task impossible without the use of excessive force. Shatterstar did not want to use excessive force on his boyfriend. He decided to attempt a new tactic, although he was unskilled with the usage of it.

 

“Julio,” he said softly. “You are upset.”

 

“Yeah. No shit, Sherlock,” came the short response from underneath the covers. Shatterstar made a frustrated noise in the back of his throat. This was not going well.

 

“Julio, please,” he said desperately. “Let me see you.” He tugged gently at the blankets again. He heard a sigh from underneath as Julio loosened his grip on the blankets. Shatterstar slowly peeled back the blankets to reveal the beautiful face of his boyfriend. Julio's hair was messy, his skin oily, and his eyes red-rimmed from tears, lack of sleep, or likely both. Shatterstar loved him all the same. Julio avoided his eyes. Shatterstar pushed Julio's long hair back from his face.

 

“Please tell me what is wrong,” Shatterstar pleaded in the softest tone he could muster.

 

Julio's lip wobbled. A few tears slipped from his eyes and puddled on the sheets below him. Then Julio asked, in the softest voice Shatterstar had ever heard him use, “Don't I interest you anymore?”

 

Shatterstar gasped in surprise. “Julio-”

 

At this point Julio became angry. He pushed the blankets aside and sat up, furiously wiping at his face. “Don't pretend,” he said fiercely. “I can just tell.” He sniffled and wiped at his tears again. “You're getting _bored_ of me. You're acting like it's all okay, this new domestic life we have here. But it's not _you_ , 'Star. You're a _warrior._  You need-”

 

Shatterstar had to interrupt this, had to tell Julio he was wrong, that Shatterstar loved him and he could never lose interest. He needed to tell Julio how much he meant to him. “Julio, that is not- I-”

 

But Julio wouldn't let him. Julio slapped the hand away which had been reaching out towards him and stood up. “It _is_ true.” Julio started violently grabbing his most important possessions as Shatterstar sat in there in shock, speechless. Julio continued crying the whole time, which only seemed to make him angrier. “The worst part is,” Julio continued. “ _I know your problem with us!_ ” he called loudly as he stormed out of the room.

 

Shatterstar got up as fast as he was able, following Julio. “ _Julio,_  there is _not_ a problem. Please just-”

 

Julio whirled around to face him, anger written clearly on his face, hand reaching for the front door handle. Shatterstar stopped in his tracks. “We don't _fight_ enough!” Julio finished before slamming his way out of the door.

 

Shatterstar could not move. How could he have ruined this so badly? How could Julio not know how much he meant to Shatterstar?

 

As he sat down on the floor of his now-empty apartment, he thought perhaps he did not deserve Julio. If he could not make Julio feel loved, then he was not qualified to be Julio's boyfriend after all. He had failed Julio, and that was the worst failure of all.


	2. Chapter 2

Julio had barely made it to the front entrance of Manor Crossing when he realised what he had just done, what he had just  _ said. _

 

“Oh,  _ fuck!”  _ he said aloud. Where the  _ hell _ was he going to go now?

 

~

 

Twenty minutes later he found himself on Tabitha Smith's doorstep.

 

When she opened the door and saw him with messy hair and his arms full of hastily grabbed belongings she just raised her eyebrows at him.

 

“What the fuck do you think you're doing here?” she asked him.

 

He put on the sweetest smile he could muster. “Visiting my favourite sister?” he said.

 

“ _ We're not even related!”  _ she exclaimed, annoyed.

 

“ _ Close enough!”  _ he exclaimed back. “We grew up on the same stupid spaceship,” he huffed.

 

“Ugh, fine,” she said as she rolled her eyes and walked back inside. “You can dump your stuff over there.” She pointed at a space on the floor. “And then you can tell me why you're _ really _ here.

 

Julio did what he was told then sat in the kitchen. She passed him a beer and sat down with one of her own. “So?” she asked.

 

Julio sighed. “So… I think I just broke up with Shatterstar.” He sounded so miserable, even to his own ears.

 

“Again?! What the  _ fuck,  _ Julio?”

 

“I didn't mean to!” He said, throwing his hands up. “Well… Maybe I did.  _ I don't know! _ I was  _ angry! _ I'm  _ still _ angry. It wasn't planned, it just… happened.” He put his head in his hands. “I don't want to talk about it, okay?” There was a long pause before he looked back up at her. “Can I  _ please _ stay here for awhile? I can't go back. Not now.” He could hear the defeat in his own voice. He didn't like it.

 

“Ugh, fine,” she said again. “But you have to do all the dishes.”

 

~

 

Julio  _ could not stand  _ his stupid long hair. He couldn't stop thinking about how 'Star had pushed it back so gently, eyes pleading, before Julio had practically spat in his face. It was so rare to see Shatterstar acting so soft. 'Star was only ever like that with him, and he  _ ruined _ it. Just like he ruins  _ everything _ . He wanted to rip the hair right out of his skull, but he thought of something better. He got it all cut off instead. He decided if he was no longer going to be  _ domestic _ Rictor he'd just have to go back to being  _ punk _ Rictor instead. And he wouldn't have to think about 'Star's stupid hands pushing back that stupid lock of hair any more.

 

He'd also left almost all his clothes back at the apartment, but he  _ refused  _ to go back there now. He couldn't look 'Star in the eyes and he figured he might as well go get some new clothes to match his new hair. The New Julio. The Independent Julio. The Julio that was dumb enough to walk out on 'Star because of his own dumb insecurities.

 

~

 

Weeks later, Julio had finally gotten his club off the ground and running. He had put every ounce of his time and effort into opening it because if he didn't, he wouldn't be able to stop thinking about 'Star, and he wouldn't be able to stop feeling sorry for himself. He was too stubborn to admit that he'd made a mistake, even if deep down he knew he had.

 

Just when he thought he was finally starting to forget, to block out the lies he'd said so harshly and with so little thought, “ _ I know your problem with us. We don't fight enough,”  _ he looked out the window and saw a familiar face staring back at him. It made him  _ so angry _ to see 'Star again, but he knew it wasn't 'Star he was angry with. He was angry with  _ himself _ . 

 

He turned away, and tried to distract himself again. He didn't turn back.


End file.
